Gospel "Attachment"

This morning, I am reading an education packet about adoption and adoptive parent preparation.  It's for the most part.  It is fairly straight forward parenting issues, but particularly relates to parenting an adopted child.  In the section on attachment I found this sentence.  The author was talking about the "bad" behavior of the child as a result of being fearful of rejection by his new parents.

"Ironically, his negative behavior may be designed, on an unconscious level, to provoke the very rejection he fears.  He is rejecting you before you can give up on him."

This is an interesting thought to say the least.  It is almost reverse psychology from an internal point of view.  The child probably can't express in words the he is doing this.  He can't tell you, "Daddy, I can't appreciate your love for me now because I don't trust that you will always be my daddy.  Because of that, I'm going to hit my new sister."  The child simply can't (and wouldn't) communicate the cause of his behavior in this way.  And yet, I think the sentence above is correct, that the child's rejection of his new parents is pre-emptive of his imagined rejection by his new parents.  The adopted child has potentially been tossed around from orphanage to orphanage.  The child found primary care givers at each of these locations, but shortly after identifying that person he could trust, he was shipped off to another orphanage, another situation, another care-giver.  He fears rejection more than anything, and in order to have the upper hand and be in control of his situation, the child is likely to reject the trust of the parents before they can reject him.

Of course every illustrative situation only goes so far, so take this next thought with a grain of salt.  However, this "internal" reverse psychology from the adopted child is a picture of our "internal" reverse Christianity.  Here's where I'm going with this.  Why do we not seek God's hand for help more often? (i.e. reject his love)  Why do we not look to Christ to fulfill all our longings and desires? (i.e. reject his sufficiency)  Why do we not trust that the Spirit of God will help us in times of need and encourage us in our Christian life? (i.e. reject God's gifts).  We, SPIRITUALLY ADOPTED CHILDREN, are just like all other adopted children.  We are likely, indeed, we are inclined to reject God's merciful hand, because we don't really trust that he will NOT reject us.  We want to be in control of our own situation and we want to decide who even gets the chance to reject us.  Hence, we push God to the side while we fulfill all our earthly desires.  We "reject" God so that he doesn't have the chance to reject us first.

As I said before, the illustrative picture breaks down, but not completely.  As ADOPTED CHILDREN, we don't "reject" God as in rejecting the gospel.  We don't "reject" God as in rejecting his grace and salvation through the blood of Jesus.  What we "reject" is God's continued fulfillment of our needs when we cry out "Abba, Father."  We don't really believe that God can/will work on our behalf for his glory.  Don't get me wrong, we are in the family; we've been ADOPTED and God is faithful to his covenant in Christ.  But we act out in disobedience, unconsciously, thinking that we can somehow control our life to the point that we don't need to be dependent on Christ.  We fear rejection.  And yet, we reject the very one who is able and willing to help us face all our fears.  Paul's argument in Romans 8 (a chapter rich with adoption language) presents the dichotomy of walking by the Spirit or walking by the flesh.  This is the difference between obedience or disobedience.  When we walk by the flesh, we walk in disobedience, relying on ourselves.  When we walk by the Spirit, we walk as those who cry out "Abba, Father," dependent on God's sufficient grace.  In other words, when we walk by the Spirit, we walk as children who are comfortable trusting God with our lives.  We walk as children who are comfortable to be called by a new name; the name our heavenly Father gives us as members of his kingdom.

This sentence from our adoption education materials is written from a child psychology/child development point of view.  And yet is says something significant about our spiritual condition as adopted sons and daughters of the one who defends the cause of the fatherless.  I don't want to proceed in our adoption thinking that I planned our fund raisers, I planned our interviews, I controlled our paperwork gathering, I controlled my life while God stood on the sidelines cheering ME on.  I want to cry out "Abba Father" so often that it becomes a joyful cry.  Will you pray with Liz and me that our hearts would reflect this attitude of dependence on God so that by the gospel we will be "attached"?

Adam and Liz<><

Adoption Golf Scramble

Once again, an opportunity to raise money to defend the orphan.  For our Congo adoption, Liz and I are hosting a golf scramble on August 13th at 2:00pm in Jeffersonville, IN.  The golf event will be at the Jeffersonville Elk's Country Club.  You can go to www.sojourningsadoptiongolfscramble.weebly.com to find out more information.  The registration information is there, or you can click on this link to access our registration brochure.  We would greatly appreciate it if you would spread the word about this fundraiser event.  We will be having raffle prizes and prizes for the top 3 winning teams.  Thanks for looking into it and hopefully we will see you there.

Adam and Liz<><

Another Way to Support Adoption

Many people use handmade crafts or gifts to help support the adoption journey.  Well, count Liz and I into that group now too.  We have set up a website where we will post handmade items that are donated to us throughout our journey.  As of now, we have some blankets (probably more like baby blanket size) that you can purchase to help us with our adoption fundraising.  We have a couple of scarfs from Liz's sister that I haven't been able to get on there yet, and we will have more items later hopefully.  Visit the website to see all the blankets.  Thanks for supporting our journey.

www.sojourningsshop.weebly.com

A City not Forsaken

Isaiah 62:12 

"And they shall be called the Holy People, 

The Redeemed of the Lord; 

and you shall be called Sought Out, 

A City Not Forsaken."

I am sitting here listening to a song by Sojourn Music called "A City No Longer Forsaken."  The base passage is Isaiah 62 above and it is a remarkable cry of and for the day when we will be finally redeemed by our Savior.  When we will be given new names in a new city under a new King who rules with love and premier authority.  A couple of lines brought me tears and caused me to continue to repeat the song over and over again.  

"A brand new name

Straight from the mouth of God

The orphaned ones now take

through the waiting years, he preserves his own

in a city no longer forsaken."

We've talked much about the parallel between our adoption in Christ and adopting a child into our family.  I'm always moved and affected by thoughts of the end of the age when Christ will make all things new.  In the same way the Jewish people looked for the Messiah, we wait for our Savior to return and conquer sin and death for good.  When I heard this line from the song, the Lord allowed my mind to connect the longing for Christ to return with adopting an orphan.  I've been given a new name in Christ.  I've been given the name Redeemed, Holy, Sought out.  There is nothing special about the name, "Howell," but this is the name that will be given to our adopted child.  He/She will have a new name as part of a new family, and Lord willing, he/she will also have their new name written in the Lamb's Book of Life.  We can't cause or guarantee our adopted child's salvation, but we are thankful for the opportunity to give a child a new earthly name and to give him/her and environment in which he or she is given the opportunity to respond to the gospel so that he/she too will be given the names Redeemed, Holy, Sought Out.  These thoughts moved me today.  By God's grace he will bring our little one home.  We long for the day when the earth will be called "A City No Longer Forsaken."  

Prayer Request - Fundraiser Event

We are hosting a fundraiser this Saturday with Jennifer Jacobs from the Biggest Loser this season.  She will be teaching some cycling classes at the Louisville Athletic Club in Clarksville, IN and all proceeds will go to support our adoption.  We are excited and grateful to Jen for being willing to do this for us.  If you are interested in joining us, you can go to www.spinwithjenclarksville.weebly.com to register.

The prayer request, like all other fundraisers, is that the Lord would provide exactly what he intends us to gain from this fundraiser, AND that we would be grateful for whatever that amount is.  When planning a fundraiser, my mind automatically goes to the maximum amount that we could get from it, and most of the time, we just aren't going to reach that maximum.  So, we want to be grateful for what the Lord provides through this event this weekend.  We've asked that the Lord would provide for us, and even if it is only $5 here and there, he is providing.  We want to trust him.  Would you join us in praying for this heart of gratitude?

Adam and Liz<><

Ups and Downs

I have to admit that the adoption process so far has been quite encouraging.  I can't lie to myself and think that in a few months I may feel differently.  However, just to keep everyone up to date with our progress, I would like to share some of our ups and downs in bullet point format.

Ups

• Although we are not there yet, our financial support has been encouraging.  We raised $605 on a yard sale.  We've had several friends give us significant gifts for which we are extremely grateful.  Somehow, a couple of weeks ago, we were able to send in our final home study payment and our first agency payment.  We've had friends tell us that you will not know where all the money came from, but it will come.  This is how we feel even this early. 
• Along with the first agency payment, we were able to get our dossier checklist.  Even though this was another "checklist" of things to do and paperwork to get, the progress to get this checklist was encouraging.  
• After reviewing the checklist, I found that many of the documents we need for our dossier to the Congo are contained in our home study.  This means (although I know things will get interesting) that we have a good portion of our dossier together if not completed.  I started a file section in our file folder for "dossier."  This was remarkably encouraging.  The small things mean a lot at this point. 
• Noah continues to exhibit excitement about having a brother to share a bunk bed with.  I don't know what he will do if we get a referral of a little girl. :-)  

Downs:  Thankfully we have not had many downs at this point, but there are a few.  These may be helpful for others who are considering adopting.  A couple of these have caught me off guard or are surprising.  It should be noted that none of these downs discouraged us nor were we offended by them.  They simply are what they are.  

• The other day we visited a large, "brand name" book store in TN and after searching and then asking the clerk where the books on adoption would be located, we discovered there were no books on adoption in said book store.  I was shocked to say the least.  
• When planning and organizing fund raisers, I've found that many times those closest to you are the ones who are least on your side.  This can be a positive "up" too because you also find that those you don't even know are most excited to help you out and support the cause.  We are planning an exercise event with Jen Jacobs from the Biggest Loser, and many of the people I work with, who have the most influence with those who would be interested in this type of event, seem not to care about helping.  As mentioned before, this is neither here nor there, but it just is.  
• We posted a link on Facebook today to advertise the spinning event with Jen Jacobs, and we got a couple of comments from folks questioning our decision to adopt from the Congo.  I could understand this if we were in a church with these folks and someone was questioning my motive to adopt from a pride/trend point of view.  That's not what these folks had in mind.  I didn't know these folks.  They are not "friends" on Facebook.  I honestly still don't know who they are, but they felt it necessary to post a comment on our link.  This was a little discouraging to say the least, but we trust that the Lord has directed our paths to this point, and we trust him to see it through to completion and to further his kingdom and glory because of it.  That's what God is in the business to do; make himself look wonderful.  

I hope this post is helpful just to keep everyone in the loop on our adoption adventure.  We continue to covet your prayers.  If you would like to know how you can help us, you can read our support letter a few posts below this one, or you can contact us and we will let you know what you can do.  Even if it is not financial, we could probably use some help at our up-coming fundraisers.  Honestly, even a "note-sender" from time-to-time, to encourage us would be nice too.  Thanks for taking this journey with us.  Let us know if we can serve you in any way.  

Adam and Liz<><

Adoption Fundraising - God is Faithful

There is nothing we have that has not been given to us.  You like the double negative, huh?  This line is at the heart of our fundraising journey.  The most daunting task as Liz and I began the adoption process was finances, but we are finding that the Lord provides in so many ways.  Two days ago, after having an adoption yard sale, we were able to send off our first payments to One World Adoption Services and in return, we got our dossier checklist.  For some reason, this was tremendously exciting to me.  Things are moving forward!!!  We began the journey with a subjugated fear of finances, and within a couple of months, we were able to send our first chunk of money all because of what the Lord has done in your hearts for the sake of the fatherless.  We appreciate everyone who has donated so far.  We thank God for you.

With the riches and mercy of God in mind, we still have a long way to go.  You can see in the column on the right where we stand in the fundraising process.  We never want to be complacent while raising funds, so we first express our thanks to God for his abundant provision.  We also never want to become lazy in our efforts to bring home our Congolese child.  So...  We are hosting another fundraiser on June 4th at the Louisville Athletic Club in Clarksville, IN.

I still have to work out details, but hopefully that will happen today.  Jennifer (Jen) Jacobs from this year's season of the Biggest Loser will be teaching/hosting four spinning classes on June 4th at the LAC in Clarksville.  We have to shore up the times she will teach, but we are more than excited about this opportunity.  We are calling the event "Spin with Jen."  The registration to reserve your spot is $30.  This will reserve your bike in the class and also give you the opportunity to hear some of Jen's story.  Once we finalize details (hopefully today), I will send out more info with a website where you can go to begin your registration.  Please pray for us during this event that even something like a fitness class can be used to bring God glory through orphan care.

More to come!!!

Your Turn to Help

Here is a copy of the letter Liz and I sent to many of you.  In this letter, we wanted to express our need for your prayer support primarily.  We also included here the ways that you can help us in the adoption journey.  For anyone who did not receive this letter, I hope all the info is here for you to be able to pray for us and to help out financially if you are able.  We are at a point now where we need a little less than $5000 to move to the next phase of the process.  So, we are trusting the Lord to do great things; even it that means giving us patience to wait on His timing.  We love all of you and look forward to sharing more of this journey with you.

Adam and Liz<><

You should be able to use these links to get to our support letter if you are unable to read the jpegs below.  Feel free to contact us if you have questions.

Congo Support Letter (pg 1)
Congo Support Letter (pg 2)

Updated Prayer Requests

Here is the list of prayer requests we posted a few weeks ago and some of the answers we've received so far.  Thanks for your prayer support on this journey.

• that God would be the center of all of our decisions and progress 
• our motive and focus would be the glory of God in the gospel rather than some self-agrandizing, philanthropic endeavor
• that we would choose the right adoption agency - We were led to One World Adoption Services, Inc. out of Georgia.  A friend of mine who adopted from Ethiopia last year gave us this reference.  We have been more than pleased with all of their help so far.  
• that we would find the right home study agency - We are currently working with Adoption and Home Study Specialists in Louisville.  They are licensed to do home studies in Indiana and we were referred to them by Families Through International Adoption (FTIA) in Evansville, IN.  Thanks to those guys for the referral.  One of the families in our church (Mark and Ginger Hales) have adopted through FTIA and gave us their contact info.  It's amazing the pathway God uses to get you where you need to be.  A referral of a referral of a referral.  
• Patience (I [Adam] tend to be task-driven and the hurry up and wait will be difficult)
• financial support for the adoption (agency fees, legal fees, travel, etc.)

We would appreciate your continued prayers for the items without answers listed above.  Most of these will be continual prayer needs through the process.  Here are a couple you can add to the list.  

• Pray for swift gathering of documents for the home study, USCIS, and dossier.  These are sometimes dependent on the government agencies issuing the documents and can cause delays. 
• Pray that our fears about traveling to the Congo would continue to be calmed.  You can read Liz's earlier post about how the Lord has worked in her life in this area.  We do not want to be gripped by fear in this process.  
• Pray for the transition in our home with Noah and Tovah having a new sibling - and a very different one at that. :-)  

The journey continues...

A place of dependence...where we need to be!

As we pursue adoption in the Congo I feel God's sovereign hand sanctifying my soul as I slowly start to let Him carry me.  I would be lying to you if I said that I have been joyfully surrendering to the Lord through this whole process.  As the possibilities of us starting the process of adoption came closer I kept feeling strong fears in my heart (The heart is deceitful above all thing and desperately sick Jer 17:9).  I was consumed with negative thoughts and we were faced with so much adversity that I sometimes felt like I wanted to run the other direction. But the Lord has been so faithful!  I was allowing the adversary to distract  me from God's purposes in adoption, yet the Lord in his goodness sent so many people in my life to pray for me and turn my heart back to the truth of God's word!  The Lord cares for the orphan (James 1:27, Deuteronomy 10:18) and he cares for us because we once were orphans too until He adopted us into His family (Romans 8:15).  We are excited to see all the Lord does in us and in our family during this time of dependence on Him. We are seeking the Lord and trusting him as we continue to walk in faith.  <>< liz

Adoption from the Democratic Republic of the Congo

At the moment, the Lord has led our family toward adoption from the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC).  Liz and I are excited about beginning the process with One World Adoption Services out of Georgia.  We feel like this opportunity has many questions still to be answered, but we feel comfortable beginning the process and seeing where the Lord takes us and how he will providentially help us complete the adoption.  We would ask that you continue to pray for us during this process.  We will be sending updates and letters soon telling how you can help be a part of our adoption from the DRC.  In the meantime, I would recommend to you a book by Dr. Russell Moore called Adopted for Life (http://amzn.com/1581349114).  Liz and I are reading through the book now, and in it, Dr. Moore lays out a solid foundation about the biblical mentality behind adopting. Even if you are not considering adopting a child, I would recommend the book to you.  It will help even to understand and appreciate our adoption in Christ.  We would love to hear from any of you who have adopted or are planning to adopt.  We would love to pray with you through your process as well.  May God be glorified through care for the orphans.  

The "Foreigner"

Isaiah 56:6-7

6 "And the foreigners who join themselves 

to the Lord,

to minister to him, to love the name 

of the Lord,

and to be his servants,

everyone who keeps the Sabbath 

and does not profane it,

and holds fast my covenant - 

7 these I will bring to my holy mountain, 

and make them joyful in my house of prayer; 

their burnt offerings and their sacrifices 

will be accepted on my altar;

for my house shall be called a house of prayer

for all peoples." 

I may write some day a longer version of our motives for adopting, but for the time being, these verses will present one aspect of our motive.  The idea of a "foreigner" being united to the people of God through a God-enacted covenant is remarkable.  God has intended from the beginning of his creative plan to redeem people from every tribe, tongue, nation, and people group to be a people for his own possession.  God has always intended to save the foreigner (i.e. non-Israelites), and bring them to his holy mountain.  

With this passage in Isaiah, the focus is on nationality.  The foreigner is a non-Israelite.  For our adoption, although nationality is going to be quite obvious, our hope is that through the national differences of our family composition, people will see the heart of God for the "foreigner," i.e. the one who is not part of the covenantal family of God.  We don't want people to look at our family and think that we have accomplished some sort of philanthropic task by adopting.  We want to be able to tell people that God has adopted us, foreigners to the covenant and spiritual orphans, into his family, and it is the least we can do to display that same affection to a foreigner and orphan.  So, one of our motives for adopting boils down to the gospel.  God is in the business of adopting, i.e. bringing those who are not family members into an eternal relationship with a loving Father.  We want to display that heart in and through our adoption.  

Deut. 10:18-19 - He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.  Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt.

Prayer Requests

Here is a list of our current prayer requests.  We want to try to keep you updated on all the ways that the Lord helps us along the way, so it seems apropos then to let you know how you can be praying for our adoption journey.

• that God would be the center of all of our decisions and progress
• our motive and focus would be the glory of God in the gospel rather than some self-agrandizing, philanthropic endeavor
• that we would choose the right adoption agency
• that we would find the right home study agency 
• Patience (I [Adam] tend to be task-driven and the hurry up and wait will be difficult)
• financial support for the adoption (agency fees, legal fees, travel, etc.)

These are just a few of the many things we are currently praying about in our family and would be delighted if you would pray with us about these things.  We will keep you updated on how God answers these prayer requests.  Our deepest desire is to glorify God by "living out" the gospel in our family.  We want to show the world a visible representation of the kingdom of God as the nations live together as one family with one Father, worshiping him for eternity because of the work of the Lamb who was slain (Revelation 4-5).  We covet your prayers in the process.

The Journey Begins

So, here the journey begins to find out what the Lord has in store for our family by way of adoption.  Liz and I have mentioned adopting a child for years now.  We have always thought it might be part of God's plan for our family.  By providence, God has placed us in a church and environment where adoption is emphasized.  Last year Liz and I attended an adoption conference at Southern Seminary and began to get some questions answered about adoption.  We have not intended to rush the process, but wanted to be prayerful and deliberate about the steps to take toward adoption.  The adoption conference last year, at the very least, was where the Lord began to soften our hearts toward the desperate needs of orphans around the world.  After the last session of the adoption conference, one of my good friends left me a voicemail that said he looked forward to meeting the adopted Howell baby in years to come.  That small thought brought tears to my eyes, to think that God may ask us to be a part of his plan for orphans as we seek to bring a child into our family.  Whether Liz and I complete an adoption or not, we will always seek to care for orphans even if that only means giving to and encouraging those who are adopting.

With the resolve that God has given us to care for the orphan, our family is ready to begin the process of adoption to see where exactly the Lord will take us in the wild journey called "life."  The road has already been a little bumpy.  We have delayed the process for over a year now because of my schooling.  The Ph.D. is rigorous and sometimes overwhelming, and we decided that to try to adopt during the thickness of the Ph.D. would not be wise.  However, I recently completed my comprehensive exams for the Ph.D., and we are now in a position where the flexibility of writing a dissertation will allow us to move forward with an adoption.  We have been chomping at the bit for the last 5 months to begin this process, and now that exams are over, we are excited to look more closely at God's plans for our adoption.

Another bump in the slow road involves the place from where we want to adopt.  Internationally, we have had our hearts set on Ethiopia.  However, recently, Ethiopia has decided to drastically reduce the number of adoption cases they review each day, which will at the very least lengthen the process considerably.  We are not counting out an Ethiopian adoption, but realize that the process could be more difficult if we go that route.  We have some dear friends who are in the middle of an adoption from Ghana, and they have already been helpful to encourage us in the process.  In addition, the stories of their Ghana adoption have caused us to begin to think about adopting from Ghana.  Liz and I also kick around regularly the idea of domestic adoption rather than international.  So, this bump in the journey is not necessarily problematic, but it has already proven daunting to figure out from where the Lord would have us adopt.  We have had friends tell us that you "cannot go wrong" with the location from where you adopt as long as you are adopting with right motives.  So, we want to be driven by a desire to see the Gospel portrayed in the composition of our family rather than the prestige of an adoption location.

So, although we are in the preliminary stages of the process, we are excited about the journey.  We are scared, prayerful, trusting, thankful, and wondering.  The mix of emotions and excitement is hard to describe accurately, but we are delighted to be in a place where we must trust God for his provision and direction.  We have much to "figure out," but that too is part of the journey.  We would love for you to pray with us for our adoption journey.  We have a couple of things set up where you can follow our progress and thoughts on adoption.  This blog is the first place, so if you have a blog reader you can subscribe to this one and we will post things here from time to time as they are helpful.  Also, we have a Twitter account @howelladoption for those of you who are in the Twitter world.  Hopefully we will set up a Facebook page for those of you in that world.  We will definitely be in touch as the journey continues, and we are excited to see how the Lord will work in all of our lives through the process of the Howell Family Adoption.  We give all the glory to our risen Christ for the desire of our hearts to adopt, for the progress that is to come in the adoption, and for the outcome of the journey, whatever it may be.